The other day I found a list of my new year’s resolutions for 2005. As I read the resolutions I laughed out loud since they work just fine for 2026 too!! I have accomplished some of them but mostly they continue to be a work in progress.
Finding this document got me thinking about the goals and resolutions we set for ourselves. I guess I am ambivalent about this ritual. While it is good to have goals and to resolve to do things differently, I seem to always be back at the starting line. The reason that my resolutions from 2005 and my resolutions for 2026 can be the same is that the struggle for change and growth in my life is an ongoing one and not a moment of radical change. I am a constant work in progress. All of the old goals are still there because many are part and parcel of my life’s work: becoming fully and authentically myself.
For sure I have problems worth solving and goals worth accomplishing but I want to think about life differently than that. Growth should be my goal. While losing weight is there again as is watching less TV and reading more books these are intentional practices to help me be me. Yes, weight and TV and a hundred other things are in the way but weight loss or reading more books is not the end game, being my truest self that is my ultimate desire.
I don’t think I know what it looks like to be my truest self and I don’t think there is a time in life when I will completely get there but I know it is a deep desire. So instead of setting goals and making resolutions I want to stand at the thresholds of this new year and be reminded that it is the process that matters, not the end of the journey. We don’t go on the pilgrimage to get somewhere; we go on the pilgrimage to walk the walk.
This year while I will work to lose weight and watch less TV (again) that will not be my resolution or goal. This year and all the years of my life I hope to remember that it is in the living of today, this moment, that I have the opportunity to grow, to become Joe O’Callaghan. It will not happen only through setting goals, it will happen because I attend to the process of growth and work at it in this moment, today!
The therapy room can be a place that reminds us of and helps us remember that we can start the journey again. By reaching out to a therapist, sharing your struggles, working on reconnecting with your partner, trying to understand yourself better we can begin.
The artist too begins again each day: the blank page, the blank canvas, the unformed mound of clay all calls us to begin and to know that we create our lives anew each morning and with each creative act.
We are that canvas, page or mound of clay waiting to be molded, and we get to shape our lives into something new!
So, I am not bothered that my resolutions don’t change because ultimately it is the journey that matters, not the destination. So let us all begin with the first step!
